Any suitor must earn your trust gradually, through consistently honorable, forthright behavior. Your job is to take all the time you need to test for a trustworthy person. You will find liars, cheaters and imposters, not only on the Web, but in nightclubs, at cocktail parties, and occasionally sitting across from you at a local cafщ. Regardless of where, or how, you meet someone, dating is never a risk-free activity.

Whether you decide to correspond with members on or offline, please use sound judgment and be responsible for your conduct. In both the virtual and real worlds, common sense is your best safety tool. The following are tips that you might want to consider as you begin online dating.

General Guideline

• Listen to your intuition - it's your best defense. Watch for passive language and manipulative behavior. Remember to trust your instincts and be wary of anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. Use common sense. If something seems too good to be true, it probably is. If you think someone is lying, it is likely that they are, so act accordingly. Move on to someone you can eventually trust.

• Watch for Red Flags. Pay attention to any displays of anger, intense frustration or attempts at pressuring or controlling you. Acting in a passive-aggressive manner, making demeaning or disrespectful comments or any physically inappropriate behavior are all red flags. You should also be concerned if your date exhibits any of the following conduct without providing an acceptable explanation:
  • Provides inconsistent information about age, interests, appearance, marital status, profession, employment, etc.
  • Refuses to speak to you on the phone after establishing ongoing, online intimacy.
  • Fails to provide direct answers to direct questions.
  • Appears in person to be significantly different from his or her online persona.
  • Never introduces you to friends, professional associates or family members.

• Make your intentions clear. If you're just flirting, be sure that the other person isn't taking you seriously.

• Always pay attention. Be on the lookout for odd behavior or inconsistencies. Pay attention to changing habits and moods. Ask questions and make sure you are satisfied with the answers. If anything makes you uncomfortable, stop communicating with that person.
  

Guideline while online
Conduct yourself and your romances in a responsible manner. Don't fall in love at the click of a mouse. Don't become prematurely intimate with someone, even if that intimacy only occurs online.

• Remain anonymous. You should avoid being identified online. All initial correspondence with ISO Personals members are done via our two-way anonymous email system, no personal contact information revealed.
  • Never include your last name, real email address, personal Web site URL, home address, phone number, place of work, or any other identifying information in your personal ad or initial emails you exchange with other members.
  • Make sure your email signature file is turned off, or does not include identifying information, when corresponding with a ISO Personals member.
  • Stop communicating with anyone who pressures you for this information or attempts in any way to trick you into revealing it.
  Take all the time you need to become comfortable with someone before revealing any person contact information. If you decide to give out personal information, be sure you're giving it to someone you can trust. Trust your instincts, move cautiously and be selective.

• Take it slowly. Take your time and move at your own pace. Begin by first communicating solely via email. Spend as much time communicating electronically as is necessary for you to feel comfortable enough to actually meet the person. Don't be coerced into meeting face to face. Anyone who tries to pressure you in any way is not worth your time. If someone really wants to meet you, he or she will wait till you're ready.

• Be honest. Honesty is the best policy. Be truthful when describing yourself in your Personals ad and in online conversations. No matter who you are, or what kind of person you are seeking, you have a better chance of finding that person -- and with less disappointment for both you and your potential date along the way -- if you are honest from the beginning.

• Request a Photo. A photo will give you a good idea of the person's appearance. In fact, it's best to view several images of this person in a variety of settings: casual, formal, indoor, outdoors. If he or she continuously comes up with an excuse, take caution.
• Wait till you're comfortable to call. When a person asks for your number and you're not ready to give it out, politely say "no," but ask for a number you can call when you're ready. If you are ready, give out a cell phone number or make arrangements to call from a pay phone. Do not give out your personal phone number to a stranger. A phone call can reveal much about a person's communication and social skills. When you call, pay attention to who answers the phone and the background noises you hear. Do they match what you know about the person? Only when you feel completely comfortable should you furnish your phone number.

• Tell someone your plans. When you make the choice to meet offline, we suggest caution in arranging meetings with strangers. As soon as you have concrete plans, tell your best friend or a family member exactly where you are going and when you will return. Leave your date's name and telephone number with that person. If you have a mobile phone, enter some emergency phone numbers and bring it along.

• Err on the side of caution. Just because you feel like you already know your date doesn't mean that you actually do. Treat this first date just as you would any other first date. Use common sense and good judgment.

• Use your own transportation. Arrive Separately! Never arrange for your date to pick you up at home. Don't rely on your date for transportation. Always provide your own transportation throughout the entire date- especially if you choose to go to a new location. If things aren't going well, it will be easier for you to leave if you have your own way home. If you aren't driving, make sure you have enough cash in your pocket for a cab ride, or arrange for a friend to pick you up at a designated time and place.

• Meet in a public place. Meet in a public place at a time when many people are present. Go to a popular restaurant, cafe, museum, park, or any public place where other people hang out. This will provide a safe and comfortable atmosphere for you to get to know each other better. Double date with a friend if it makes you feel more comfortable. Don't agree to meet anywhere isolated, unfamiliar, or uncomfortable for you. Avoid hikes, bike rides or drives in remote areas for the first few dates. If you decide to move to another location, take your own car. Make it short and enjoyable; Spend about an hour or two together. When the timing is appropriate, thank your date for getting together, say goodbye and leave on your own as well.

• Go Distance. If you are flying in from another area, arrange for your own car and a hotel room. Do not disclose the name of your hotel and never allow your date to make the arrangements for you. Rent a car at the airport and drive directly to your hotel. Call your date from the hotel or meet at the location you have already agreed to. If the location seems inappropriate or unsafe, go back to your hotel. Try to contact your date from there, or leave a message on a home machine. Always make sure a friend or family member knows your plans and has your contact information. And if possible, carry a cell phone at all times.

• Sticky Situations. Never do anything you feel unsure about. If you ever feel uncomfortable in any way, use your best judgment to diffuse the situation and get out of there. Excuse yourself long enough to call a friend for advice, ask someone else on the scene for help, or slip out the back door and drive away. If you feel you are in danger, call the police. It's always better to be safe than sorry. Never worry or feel embarrassed about your behavior. Your safety is much more important than one person's opinion of you. Anyone who values your friendship will support your instincts 100%.

If you have any question, contact us!